Safe Communication

One of the main goals of our brain is to help us survive, with that goal in mind we  develop coping strategies and defences, these ways of 'surviving' get stored in our lower brain and become automatic unconscious circuitry. The lower brain (limbic and reptilian or primal) as it is sometimes called,  stores all our emotional memory,..these emotional memories get 'triggered' by events and  other people, or even by our own thinking... it is this triggering of emotional memory that causes a lot of conflict in relationships. There are brain based tools that  we can use to help us 'bump up' our brain state, if we are feeling a little bit stressed we are likely in brain state 3 (see diagram) If we feel very  stressed it's likely we are in brain state 4, in brain state 5 we are extremely stressed..(Our survival circuits are stored in brain states 4-5) survival circuits are encoded at a young age, and can be rewired with practise. There are different...

Relationships with other people can be a great source of inspiration, comfort and connection, conversely, our relationships with others can  be a trigger for frustration and pain... How Can Safe Communication Help? Safe Communication is a way for people to talk and listen to each other in such a way so that both people feel safe to express themselves without fear of being judged or criticised. Safe Communication creates win/wins rather than win/lose scenarios Safe Communication Promotes Brain Health When we use the Safe Communication tools it activates our higher brain (neocortex)..it is in this brain area where we create great  new ideas, forge connection and feel safe. Communication Breaks Down When We Are Under The Influence Of Lower Brain States The Lower brain areas are where we feel the effects of stress..(limbic and primal brain) Safe Communication makes it possible to raise our brain state so that we can communicate effectively. How Does Safe Communication ...

What Determines How Events Affect Us?  In general, our emotional reactions are influenced by the  meaning  that we attach to events in our lives. We often don't have control over external events, , but we do have control over what meaning we are going to give to a certain event. If we allow our subconscious  mind to choose the meaning of things, it will leave us feeling negative and disempowered. Our subconscious mind seeks to protect us, and automatically chooses the most negative meaning, this causes negative feelings such as feeling stuck, powerless, or angry. When we choose the meaning of things consciously, we feel more empowered and positive.  Choosing the meaning of things consciously helps us to dismantle unhelpful patterns such as feeling overwhelmed, stressed or anxious. When we make a distinction between an event and how that event occurs for us, we can change how we feel about it. Example Jenny was walking down the street, she saw an ...

The brain has 5 different states ranging from 1-5, when when we  are in brain state 3 we are in moderate stress,.. brain states 1 and 2 are where we are at our best. As the brain state descends we feel more stressed. If you are really stressed you may be at brain state 4 or 5, we use a slightly different brain training tool in that case Firstly, check-in with yourself to see which brain state you are in..if you are feeling moderate s tress, then try this exercise. Complete each of these sentences, it doesn't have to be on the same topic, each feeling can be about something different, keep it short, no long sentences, you can either write it down or do it inside your head, writing it down is a bit more effective. I feel angry that- I feel sad that- I feel scared that- I feel guilty that- Then the opposites I feel grateful that- I feel happy that- I feel secure that- I feel proud that- After completing these sentences take a deep breath, and see if you feel better. (If all your sente...