Rewiring Stress In Brain State 4

As we see in the diagram, the brain has 5 different 'states'..our mood will shift depending on what brain state we find ourselves in.


In brain states 1 and 2 our mood is positive,  we feel optimistic and 'connected'. In 3 we qre beginning to feel stressed,
In brain state 4 we feel very stressed, (this is an opportunity to rewire a stress circuit)
If we practise the steps outlined  below when we are in brain state 4, we can begin weakening stress circuits, (stress circuits are encoded in the lower brain in childhood). We can rewire these stress circuits by practising the brain training tools.
When you first learn the brain training tools it's useful to write it down...you can do it on your phone..

Check in with yourself, ask "which brain state am I in?"
If you feel very stressed you are likely in brain state 4
In brain state 4 we begin with just the facts..eventually this takes us into emotions.. 
In brain state 4 we stay on just one  topic for all the emotions

Just the facts...then into emotions...
I am angry that..(do a couple for each emotion if you can)
I am sad that..
I am afraid that..
I feel guilty that..
My unreasonable expectation is:...
(unreasonable expectations or perceptions are stored in the lower brain, these are statements that feel true in the moment, even though your higher brain knows they are not true)
Then say the opposite (reasonable expectation)
Repeat the opposite phrase 10 times with feeling  
Here is an example of Judy doing a cycle in brain state 4.
Just the facts to start with...
"Today my partner and I had a horrible row in the store, he walked out and left me there.."     
 Anger
"I am furious he left me to sort it all out,..I feel so angry he left me with so much to do, I hate it that he is so selfish!  

Sadness
I feel sad that the morning ended badly, sad that he looked so upset..sad we allowed it to escalate

Scared
I feel scared that our relationship might end..scared we can't solve it...

Guilt
My part in this is that I get so defensive..I can't be told anything...I should have stayed calm

Unreasonable Expectation
It's all my fault
I am bad..I can never be loved...

Reasonable Expectation (opposites)
It's not all my fault! 
I am not bad..I can love and be loved!
Repeat the opposites 10 times..and throughout the day. 

The brain changes through repetition, if we check in with ourselves regularly throughout the day and notice which brain state we are in..then  use the appropriate brain training tool.


For online  appointments in Couples Coaching or Individual Coaching  or to find out more email solutionbraintraining@gmail.com 
Call or text Lynn on 07944 921 130 

For more on the science of Brain Training see the website EBT.org 






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Safe Communication...Turning Conflict Into Connection

Why Using "Safe Communication" Transforms Relationships